Drama, Now With Fresh Bagels

by Mel

The other night was a rough one with my daughter. She was moody, obstinate, whiny, and just no fun to deal with at all.  It was late….it was bedtime..and I had had enough. I got crabby and frustrated and snapped at her…she snapped back. I was beyond done. I yelled. She yelled back. I could feel my blood pressure rising. “What the hell is wrong with her???,” I thought. I spun around to look at her and saw that exact same thought mirrored back to me on her face-  What the hell is wrong with her??? And it stopped me in my tracks. It suddenly struck me that she is her own person…..with her own mind….and that mind can quite possibly think I am unfair and don’t understand her. And she may be right sometimes. It doesn’t take much of a stretch for me to remember feeling that way myself. Looking at my mom, angry and frustrated, thinking….she just doesn’t get it.

I sighed, and sat down. And I was quiet. And she was quiet. I have no idea what was going through her head as we sat. And I have no idea why it was such an epiphany for me that she could be thinking her own thoughts about what had just happened, apart from mine. I mean, it wasn’t as if I had never realized that before…just…maybe not in the same way…..or with the same clarity. And then, her, “I’m sorry,” broke the silence. I told her I was sorry too. And she crawled onto my lap and put her arms around my neck. We let out a sigh together. A meeting of the minds. A few minutes later, we sat at the table, sharing a blueberry bagel and applesauce, her face still red and splotchy from tears, and I was so thankful for that moment. I was thankful for turning and seeing her face when we fought….I was thankful for that bagel……I was thankful for it all. (Okay, so I would have been a little more thankful if we could have shared our special moment over ice cream instead of a bagel, but I made it work.)  And I am so thankful for that moody, stubborn, intelligent, funny, drama-filled little girl that probably is going to spend most of her life thinking I am completely wrong. She is a force to be reckoned with, and is going to grow up to give the world a swift kick in the ass and me a run for my money….and I wouldn’t have her any other way.